Why I Have a Problem with Being “True to Yourself”

*If you don’t know where your true identity lies, read until the end to find out.*

I’m going to upset a lot of people by saying this—stay with me!

I take issue with statements like these:

Trust your heart.

Do you.

Believe in yourself.

Be true to yourself.

Don’t look at me like that!

These are phrases and themes that you can easily find in Disney songs, movies galore, motivational speeches, and just about everywhere you look. More and more, society encourages us to discover and love ourselves, and ultimately do what makes us happy.

Sounds alluring to me! We are our own unique individual, after all, and no one matters more than we do. It’s our life, our body, our heart; shouldn’t we be the ones to know who we truly are and follow what we truly want?

While there is some truth to that mentality, there is a monumental flaw which can cause us to miss the DANGER WARNING WRONG WAY sign ahead.

Let me clarify: You are beautiful. You are unique. You are loved by the Creator Himself. You are the only YOU born into this world, and that is such a privilege. But let’s be honest. The society that prompts us to trust our hearts and be true to ourselves is the same society that forces us to compare to impossible standards and gives birth to insecurity.

It’s an endless cycle, and it doesn’t just stop once we decide to love ourselves and trust our hearts. Let’s face it, we’re not to be trusted. Our sinful nature motivates us to live by the desires of our flesh, and it’s so easy to get that confused with who God created us to be.

God outlined His intentions for us, and if we go back to the Bible, this is what we find:

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9)

And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. (Luke 9:23)

“And he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.” (2 Corinthians 5:15)

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:26)

“Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” (John 12:25)

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30)

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,” (Matthew 5:44)

“For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Galations 5:14)

“So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever^[a] you want.” (Galations 5:16-17)

When we live by our rules, trust in our own ability, and strive to obtain everything we want on our own, it only makes failing so much more inevitable and potentially devastating. That’s because we’ve left out one key figure.

Jesus.

*Let Him be the One to love you. Our identity begins and ends with believing in the love of Him as our Savior and the application of His Word. That’s what first welcomes us as sons and daughters and begins our journey as followers of Christ.

Don’t be discouraged.

He designed you as an incredible, one-of-a-kind being. Within His design comes skills, talents, dreams, and a multilayered personality. Those things are beautiful and fit within His special plan for your life. BUT He also reminds us to test our heart, to discover His will, and to humble ourselves.

We shouldn’t follow our heart. We should follow His. We don’t have to blaze our own trail, we can walk in His. We shouldn’t be true to ourselves, we should be true to Him and who He made us to be.

When we realize life goes so much deeper than ourselves, we can recognize the power God has to transform us into a life-altering force in this world.

Don’t forget you are loved!

LJM