Nothing like soaring above the clouds and watching the sunset to remind you of how beautiful God’s creation is. As I sit by the window of this plane I think back to the first time in my memory that I talked to God.
When you were a kid, did you ever just look up and ask, “God, are you really there?” Well maybe you even ask now. There comes a time in everyone’s life where they just want to put the cards on the table and know beyond a shadow of a doubt whether or not there is a god.
My moment came when I was 8 years old. I don’t have any memory of sincerely talking to God before then. I remember chanting my meal time blessings, and bedtime prayers, but I don’t remember actually having a conversation with God until I was 8.
I remember laying in my twin bed staring up at the ceiling. My deepest wish at the time was the ability to fly. I wanted to be Mrs. Peter Pan. If I had to choose a superpower it would be flight. I could just picture myself flying circles around my friends and everyone would think I was the coolest person ever! I thought of all the awesome things I could do with my power like reaching high places without a stool, saving kittens out of trees, and never having to be afraid of falling ever again.
I stared into the darkness of my bedroom and said aloud, “God, I really really really wanna fly. I know You have the power to make it happen. I would really love it if You would let me fly.” I prayed and prayed over and over until my eyes grew drowsy and I drifted off to sleep. The next morning I would remember my prayer and I would stand on my bed, ready for take off. Deep down I knew I wouldn’t be able to fly, but it wouldn’t stop me from trying.
That wasn’t the last night I asked. I figured, maybe God didn’t hear me. Maybe He heard me and I didn’t do something right. So once again I sprawled out on my bed, put my hands together, and prayed aloud, “God, if You’re really there, will you let me fly?” When that didn’t work I tried one last time.
Maybe if I got on my knees and put my hands together God would listen. “If you let me fly then I will believe in You.” Now I had Him, I thought. But the following morning I jumped up from my bed only to be brought down like a rock.
Instead of sulking in the corner about how God doesn’t listen or that there isn’t even a god, I just shrugged it off. I had no doubt in my mind that God was there and there was nothing that could make me believe otherwise. At such a young age I had to start coming to the realization that I am not always going to get what I want right away, even if I ask God. We zero in on our needs and wants, but God knows what is best for us. And He answers our prayers in his own time.
Oh and I did get my prayer answered. For the third time this summer I have flown over the United States and I’m sure it will not be my last.
-LJM
1 Corinthians 8:6, Romans 1:20