It’s funny what time does to hope. Not funny haha, but funny in the sense that I never thought I’d see my hope in something grow rusty and begin to crumble.
I think it’s easy to have hope early in the game. When you think you have all this time or when you think something is going to go a certain way. Your way. And when it doesn’t, BANG! SHATTER! Now, you have to put the pieces back together yourself into something that makes sense.
So what do you do when you find yourself adjusting the tapestry that God has given you of your life? And what do you do if you don’t particularly like that tapestry?
The right answers consist of praying about it, having faith that it’s for the best, and thinking more about others than yourself.
But those answers don’t necessarily make me feel any better, do you?
Other options include, taking control of your life and making whatever you want to happen happen. Or you could wallow and fester in bitterness and resentment.
Those options may sound tempting and cater to our wounded souls, but I don’t think either are healthy options.
Taking control of your life may sound empowering and give you a brief moment of inspiration, but what you don’t see happening is that you are putting yourself in a yoke of your own making.
You’re making yourself carry the weight of the world. You’re hinging everything on your goals and your dreams. And while you may have those for a reason, they shouldn’t tie up your identity, because after all that strife, they still might not go the way you planned.
Bitterness and resentment are also a yoke. A very ugly one at that. While it may seem like you’re approaching life with a realistic perspective, you’re often weighed down with that negativity and it leaves you feeling more lost than ever.
I guess that’s partly why Jesus talks about a different yoke.
28Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30 ESV
Might I point out that His yoke is still a yoke. But He is on the other side, taking on most of the weight and guiding you on where you should go. You can’t get away from the yoke. So which one are you going to choose to have on you?
That brings me back to the right answers I mentioned earlier. The right thing is not always the easiest thing or the most empowering thing. It requires surrender. It requires trust even when you feel like you’ve run out of it. It requires effort, not in taking on the world, but giving your world to The One who can use it for His best.
I know it’s not glamorous, and quite frankly, I’m struggling with wanting to do any of those things. But I know those are the steps to wholeness, to peace, and to joy. How do I know that? Because, while lost hope may cause a tear in my tapestry, faith keeps it from completely unraveling.
I’ll hang onto that while I work on allowing God to mend the rest.
Leah Jordan Meahl 