I’m up three pounds. Cue the expletives!
I wish I could end my post there. Why? Because what else is there to say? I got cocky, I made fewer good decisions, and now I’m embarrassed. Whose idea was it to bring you in the loop, again?
To be honest, this is kind of normal for me. I work hard for about a month, month and a half, then I run out of steam. I get discouraged about the results I’m not seeing and then I return to my normal bad habits. They’re slipping in here and there.
“Why don’t you have mac and cheese for lunch? You barely eat it anymore.”
“You can have a little snack tonight, you only had soup for dinner.”
And so on and so forth.
Remember how we find the good? The good is, at least it’s not six pounds, which would cancel any kind of progress I’ve made.
But if I don’t do better, it’ll be six pounds in no time. And we’re heading into the worst time of the year to try and lose weight. With Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas coming down the pike, I might as well be screwed.
If you have any suggestions for eating around the holidays, I’ll happily take them in the comments.
My goal now is to find my motivation to keep going and to survive the holidays with minimal casualties.
As I am typing this, I realize that the underlying issue is in my heart. I fall back on my bad habits because they’re comforting, that is, until I see the scale the next morning. Instead of going to God with my discouragement and mistakes, I give up momentarily.
I need to turn to God in order to keep me going. As my spirit and motivation wanes, I need His strength to keep me on track.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (ESV)
Let me just start heading in a better direction with a simple prayer:
“Heavenly Father, forgive me for seeking comfort outside of your love and your grace. I need you to help me persevere, so that I can give you glory through my journey rather than wallow in defeat. Thank you for being with me both in trials and in victory. Amen.”
With that, I may be able to try another week.
Leah Jordan Meahl 
Keep going Leah! Don’t give up because of a bad day or the scale showed a few extra ponds. Throw out the scale, or only use it once or twice a week. Stick to your plan. And when you have a day where the plan falls apart, you can start over again. God bless you on this journey.
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Thank you for the encouragement!
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Leah, I love your transparency through this journey. My weight/diet struggles have been with me for a very long time. Should you need a shoulder, I’m here. Should you need encouragement, I’m here. I’ve learned lots about myself in the last few years, and in turn, about the place food occupies in my life. I come from a grandmother and mom who struggled as long as I can remember, and they were both extraordinary cooks and bakers. I love to cook, bake and eat. Just the sentence made the scale move up. Ugh. My last approach to getting the weight off initially came from joining Noom. As in all things, there are positives and I’m sure negatives. But I did learn some valuable lessons. No food is off limits or bad. Some foods are more conducive to losing weight than others. So, I’ve learned about food. Perhaps most importantly, I’ve learned about emotional eating, soothing myself through food. I’ve gained some tools to help me decide if I’m really hungry, or if I’m annoyed, bored, hurt, tired and running to the comfort of food. I’ve learned how really rare it is to honestly feel hunger pangs, so for me, food is about so much more than nutrition. I’ve learned to eat more mindfully, most days. I’ve learned that drinking tons of water curbs my appetite, but not necessary my emotional appetite, so I need to assess constantly, the why behind my eating. I’ve had to come to some decisions about my desired weight, and what I’m willing to do to get there. I’ve learned this is not a short term, lose a few pounds and go back to what I did before. This is not a diet for me, but a lifestyle change…forever. Some days that doesn’t feel bad, in fact it feels good. Some days I hate it. Some days I shine. Some days I fail miserably, but I get back at it the next day because my why is big enough to make me keep trying. My scale moves down slow like a snail. It climbs higher in breakneck speed. I’ve learned to celebrate about things that don’t show up on my scale when I wish they did, like clothes getting too big or just looking better, or a family member asking if I’ve lost weight and telling me I look TINY! What??!! That non-scale victory will fuel me through the hard holidays coming up.
For me, Leah, it is seeking God and allowing Him to remind me, as He is you, that He is our comfort, but also, that when I succeed He loves me, and when I bomb out He loves me. He sees into the deepest recesses of my heart. He knows when I am using food is trying to fill a gap or cover over a wound, and He reminds me food won’t do it, but His love is more than enough. Step by step, day by day, meal by meal. The journey continues. Living this way has become my normal, though every now and then I have to acknowledge that I am not above telling myself a few lies, maybe about how much I really ate, or what the calories really were, or even WHY I stuffed all those candies into my mouth. For me, it is a battle I’ve committed to fight as long as I live in this world of temptations and calories. And, I know that God is becoming more for me in this battle that He tells me is not mine. Though the weapons feel carnal, they’re not. For me, it is about obedience and submission, and allowing God to show me who He really longs to be for me in every situation.
Okay, so now I’ve written a book. I’m sorry for going on…
I love you and I’m here for you if I can help in any way. You are beautiful, inside and out. Your honesty is a breath of fresh air, and I know you will find victories as you continually present your body as a living sacrifice to Him. Lisa
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Thank you for all the thoughts and encouragement. 🙂
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I’m sorry for some reason WordPress will not let me leave comments on your blog. Tells me to “log in,” which I did. Just keep getting the same message, “log in to leave a comment.”
This blog really encouraged me… not that you gained 3 lbs, but your sharing that you realize the underlying issue and your prayer. I really appreciated that and needed to hear it.
Keep Going, Leah! You inspire me:)
❤️WendyC
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Thank you so much!
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